garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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