Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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