We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I look better un-naked...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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