She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize