Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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