Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.

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(813): View more from Florida

She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is

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(818): View more from California

She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

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(541): View more from Oregon

To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.

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(770): View more from Georgia

You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.

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(949): View more from California

I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth

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