can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
