smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
