Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
