I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
