Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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