A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
