Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
