I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
