two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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