Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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