..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this beer tastes like vomit already
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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