Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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