Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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