The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
