Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize