im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
