Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
