Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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