i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
