Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Rumble strips road head = magical
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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