sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
