so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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