just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We left the knife in your bed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
