hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
