my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
