alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
