Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
