I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
