At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
