my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
