I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
