apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Randomize
