I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize