She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
