every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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