THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
