so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
