oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
