Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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