And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
