You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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