Moan for me like Helen Keller
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
