i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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