I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
