Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
