I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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