Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize