I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
