Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
