thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
