We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you didnt know i had herpes?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize