I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the night ended with taco bell and tears
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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