His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize