Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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