I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
