She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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