I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Panties = found
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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