he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
