the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
