I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
