my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
