He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
