i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
