He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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