I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I want her autograph on my taint
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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