grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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