We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
