You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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