you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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