white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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