Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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