I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
