dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
