did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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