That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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